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When We're in Public, Pretend You Don't Know Me: Surviving Your Daughter's Adolescence So You Don't Look Like an Idiot and She Still Talks
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The two worst times in a woman's life is when she is 13 and when her daughter is 13, or so goes a popular maxim in psychology circles.
- Sales Rank: #2733357 in Books
- Published on: 2003-04-01
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 7.99" h x .65" w x 5.00" l, .59 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 288 pages
- ISBN13: 9780446679510
- Condition: New
- Notes: BRAND NEW FROM PUBLISHER! 100% Satisfaction Guarantee. Tracking provided on most orders. Buy with Confidence! Millions of books sold!
Review
"...a smart, funny, practical guide to peaceful coexistence between mothers and daughters that imparts wit and real wisdom." -- Susan Orlean, author of The Orchid Thief
About the Author
Susan Borowitz lives in New York.
Most helpful customer reviews
12 of 15 people found the following review helpful.
Hilarious and helpful
By Amazonbombshell
Okay, I'm not a parent, let alone parent of a teenager...but I will be someday, and I'm interested, so I'm thinking about it and reading up. Here's what I'm thinking about this book:
I love it. It's wryly funny -- even occasionally hysterical -- and much of it rings true from watching my relatives bring up teenagers, being one not too long ago myself (though I didn't have some of the more extreme issues I notice in others), watching my own mom cope with me, and seeing the daily struggles between my peers and their moms when we were teens. There's a lot of "common sense" here, but don't let that statement fool you into thinking the book's useless; the best of us sometimes forget to exercise our "common" sense.
I particularly appreciate the ("common sense?") idea that moms should not fall into the trap of being "clueless" or the opposite trap of being your daughter's "cool" best friend. The best way to be both parent and friend is to be what Mrs. Borowitz calls "the uncool mom:" setting good boundaries, remaining in control, being yourself, picking your battles, and butting out when your daughter needs to manage on her own (which is more often than you think.) My own mother did a generally great job of this, and we are now what one might call "best friends" as adults -- still very much mother-daughter, but with mutual respect, friendship, and tolerance built out of (usually, and usually this was Mom's doing) handling our conflicts in a healthy way when I was a minor. This book is written by a mom who sounds a lot like mine...but even my mom could have learned something from her.
7 of 8 people found the following review helpful.
99% of this book is GREAT!
By Joanna Becker
I have a 13 year old daughter, and this book really resonated with me. I was pleasantly surprised to find that I already fit in the "Uncool Mom" category, but I still learned a lot from the common sense tips. I also really enjoyed the way that this book is written, with humor and anecdotes that keep you in stitches while helping you understand your daughter just a little better.
My one problem with the book was when the author recommended not teaching abstinance. I do think that it's naive to ONLY teach abstinance, but I think teaching kids that abstinance is an option is very important. By not teaching abstinance at all, but teaching kids about safe sex, what they will hear is that they are expected to have pre-marital sex. When you teach abstinance AND safe sex in conjunction, you are telling them that if they don't want to, it's a valid choice and they should feel confident in it, and if they do choose to have sex, here's how to stay safe.
12 of 16 people found the following review helpful.
It's good, but...
By A Customer
Susan Borowitz offers practical wisdom and humorous tales regarding her and her own friends experiences with their adolescent girls. It's witty and very inciteful. I didn't agree with some of the advice from "parenting expert" Ava L. Siegler, in particular when she states "Forget teaching abstinence. It's wishful thinking and a waste of time!". I don't agree! It's never a waste of time to try to instill morals in your child's upbringing! The book does have value regarding how mothers should be (uncool) rather than "clueless" or "bestbuds" and offers good tips and strategies in dealing with adolence.
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